"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
