I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
