I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
