I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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