Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
