If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
