doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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