you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize