I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
