I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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