Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Someone shattered a urinal.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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