I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
