Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
