He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
