and i looked up. we had an audience...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
