I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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