He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
