he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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