So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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