I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
