so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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