why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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