also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
