Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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