R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
