Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
