omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
