she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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