So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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