Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
