4 words: hood of his car
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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