Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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