Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
