we're chasing vodka with high fives
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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