Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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