Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
