i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
