Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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