yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You made out with two different species that night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
