I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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