the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
