Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
