My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We named our party play list daddy issues
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
