I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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