but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
