My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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