I just pynch a tree in the face
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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