you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize