its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
