But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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