none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
