Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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