so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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