It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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