then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
