Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
