I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
