I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
