I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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