Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
