hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize