I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
