you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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