May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
