TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
